A
Sorry State of Affairs
When
I first began to study on what repentance is, I realized that there is a vast difference in what we “preach” and
what we “practice”. I realized that so many times when a person sins
and those feelings of guilt and anguish build up; so much so, that they feel that they must come down to the altar on Sunday
morning and re-dedicate their lives to Jesus; that their goal is actually to feel better.
They’ve been having that gnawing feeling that comes when the Holy Spirit is convicting the heart: you know that feeling that wakes you up in the middle of the night.
That feeling that tells you that something is out of whack; out of balance. The
feeling that is trying to tell you that you are grieving the Lord. But for many
of us, that ache of the convicted heart is diagnosed as an emotion; a sensation. We
feel bad or sorry, so the practical solution is to do something to make us feel better.
For
many, the tried and true solution is to run down to the altar and give that almighty testimony and then tearfully re-dedicate
their lives to Jesus. And what that old, rhetorical testimony amounts to is an
apology. I’m sorry I got caught and I better give my twist on the
story before the whole church finds out. I’m sorry I have to feel this
embarrassed about my wretchedness. I’m sorry that Sister Jones is giving
me the evil eye every time I see her. I’m sorry I’m missing out on
precious sleep from all this ridiculous guilt I feel. And I’m really sorry
that I didn’t learn how to hide my reprobate activities better than this.
This
brings us back to the original scripture in Genesis 6. The Lord laments that
His spirit will not always strive with man. Why?
We find the answer in verses 5-6:
5 And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that
every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. 6 And it repented the LORD that he had made
man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.
Here, God is more than just sorry He created man. He is to the point
of changing His mind about the whole idea. In this particular instance, God decided
to wipe the slate clean with a flood that covered the entire planet and destroyed every living thing, save one family. I would say by His response that the Father was indeed grieved over the sorry state
of man.
But
when I looked at what that feeling of sorry really is, it actually surprised me a little.
You know, we say we’re sorry all the time. I’m sorry I was
late; I’m sorry I forgot to pick up the dry cleaning; I’m sorry I didn’t notice you standing there. The dictionary gives us the usual and most used meaning of the word sorry, and that
is a feeling of sorrow, sadness, regret or mournfulness. But the dictionary goes
on to give another meaning: to inspire pity, scorn, or ridicule. As in, your life is in a sorry state; or he’s a sorry excuse for a human being.
So
you’re back again at the altar on Sunday morning, relating to the congregation the sorry state of affairs in which you
find yourself. And as you mournfully give your testimony or your apology, you
begin to feel better. You’re getting all that guilt off your chest. You know, the old folks always say to take your burdens to the throne and leave them
there. Boy, what a relief. I’ve
apologized and feel much better. Let’s go eat!
So
I took a look at that word apology. We tend to use the word apology and the word
sorry interchangeably. But they actually have somewhat different meanings. The word apology is defined as a justification; a defense or an excuse. The
dictionary goes on to say that an apology is an admission of error or an expression of regret. But it also says that an apology is a poor substitute or something
makeshift. I was less familiar with this definition, so I looked further
and found a few synonyms for the word apology: excuse, pretext, alibi. An
excuse implies an intent to avoid or remove blame. While a pretext
suggests subterfuge and the offering of false reasons or motives in excuse or explanation.
And an alibi implies a desire to shift blame or evade punishment. These
are all words that mean the same as apology.
We’ve
witnessed this scene in church so much that it has become commonplace. Someone
comes down to the altar and begins to offer their apology for their sinful behavior.
But what they’re actually doing is attempting to present a subterfuge by offering false reasons and motives,
in order to avoid or shift blame and evade punishment. When you look at it from
that direction, an apology is not really an effective means of addressing the convicted heart.
In fact, what you’re doing when you feel sorry and then you apologize is inspiring everyone to pity you so that
you don’t have to accept responsibility for your actions. That’s
why we sometimes see the same people coming down to the altar over and over; re-dedicating their lives again and again. It’s because they have not addressed and removed the true cause of their guilt: their sinful behavior. Instead, they
attempt to shift the focus to their sorrowful expressions and apologetic demeanor. They
try to make themselves feel better by garnering the attention of the entire congregation.
So instead of seeking to improve their situation, they are putting their spiritual affairs into an even more sorry
state.
Attempting
to base our relationship with God on how we feel is asking for trouble. For our
feelings are transient, and what we love today is despised and thrown into the trash the next.
You love your new car, but if one morning it doesn’t start, the love affair may be over. You love your new outfit, but it’s out of style next year. In other words, our feelings are here
today and change tomorrow. But our sin is ever-present. And the same can be said for trying to manage our sinfulness based on emotions and feelings. For example, if your sin is publicly exposed, then you’re more liable to feel embarrassment, regret,
and remorse. But what about the undetected sin?
If no one knows, do you still feel sorry? Or do you feel a little elated
that you got away with it?
Here
lies the difference between feeling sorry or apologetic and repenting. By its
very definition, repentance is an action, not a feeling. To repent is to turn
from sin and dedicate oneself to the amendment of one's life; to change one's mind.
Of course, repentance is brought about by feelings of remorse and regret; those aches our heart feels when the Holy
Spirit is convicting us. But the penitent heart goes on further to action. The repentant heart dedicates itself to stop grieving the Father. The repentant mind is changed and renewed. The repentant spirit
matures. These are literal actions that strengthen the spiritual life, and thereby
strengthening the relationship with God.
Throughout
Jesus’ ministry on earth he taught using simple parables to demonstrate examples of the repentant heart. As we know, God is not a respecter of persons. Meaning God
does not view superiority in titles or positions. What He sees is the shed blood
of His Son, and the repentant heart required to access it. We read in Matthew
2: 28-32:
28 But what think
ye? A certain man had two sons; and he came to the first, and said, Son, go work to day in my vineyard. 29 He answered and said, I will not: but afterward he repented, and went. 30 And he came to the second, and said likewise.
And he answered and said, I go, sir: and went not. 31 Whether
of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That
the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. 32 For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and
ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward,
that ye might believe him.
Because
God is not really concerned with feelings, as much as we think. We are truly
blessed that He chose to give us emotions. To feel the excitement of falling
in love or that first kiss. To feel the joy of touching your baby’s hand
for the very first time. Even the lows of sadness and anger, though painful,
let us know that we exist; we’re alive. But we must remember that throughout
the bible, God’s just nature does not allow Him to act according to how He feels.
He loved Abraham, but still called him to sacrifice his son. He loved
Moses, but still did not allow him to go into the Promised Land. He loved the
children of Israel, but at times, chastised
them to the point of near destruction. And we know God loved His only begotten
Son, Jesus Christ, yet gave Him in sacrifice to a sorry, apologetic world. So
feeling bad because of sinful behavior is not what God is looking for. God is
looking for the action of repentance: the changing of minds, hearts and lives.